I don’t know who talk to. I just want to disappear, but I do not wish to die. I just want to go away for a while and forget about everything. No one cares about me and no one will notice I’m gone. I feel so unlovable and replaceable. I’m just very sad.
Don’t be sorry, you’re expressing how you feel and there is nothing wrong with that. But I am worried about you and why you wish to disappear. I was in your shoes not too long ago, so I know exactly how you feel. You wish to take a long, giant nap, but that life would continue on and once you woke up, that you would have the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself, right?
And if someone hasn’t told you today I care about you and your life. I am rooting for you and walking with you as you face all obstacles to come. In life, we have to learn to love all of ourselves, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s okay to want to be loved by others, but no one will be able to give you the love you truly deserve, besides yourself.
It’s okay to experience bad days, hurt feelings and sadness, but we always have to pick ourselves up and stand tall. And why don’t you believe you matter? Usually, when we look for others to validate us and our existence, whenever we don’t receive what we wish from others, and ultimately what we should be giving ourselves, we turn to being self-critical of ourselves and feel replaceable and as if we don’t matter. Although you may feel that you do not matter to anyone else, the real question is, do you matter to yourself? Do you love yourself and accept yourself as you are? Only you can truly give you the love that you truly wish to experience. You may find people in life who may love you almost as much as you love yourself, but no one will ever be able to give you the love that you can give yourself. And you do matter and you exist for a reason, NEVER FORGET THAT!