I’m so depressed. My wife is disabled and relies on me for everything. She can’t drive, she can’t work, she can’t make money and I, of course, don’t blame her for any of this. But I feel like a failure every time I can’t provide for her. I get so down over this, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell her this and make her feel bad about something she can’t control.
For any relationship to work there has to be clear and honest communication. You have to tell your wife how you feel and how you’re coping with being the only source of income as well as being her caregiver. The conversation will be hard, but it has to be had. Your wife has to know how you feel! And although you carry the financial burden alone, mentally and emotionally you can share your ‘burdens’ with your wife, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
And you shouldn’t feel bad about not being able to afford certain material items. It’s okay, you have so much abundance surrounding you already! You’re healthy, you have a steady, dedicated income, your wife loves you and you love her. It’s okay that you aren’t able to afford everything you desire, and it in no way makes you a failure!
As I’ve said, you have to speak to your wife about how you feel. You have so much pressure on you, pressure I believe can be alleviated if you just spoke to your wife. And since I haven’t already said it yet, you aren’t a bad person for feeling the way that you do. You have so much responsibility, and you have a being that depends on you for everything, so of course, you’re overwhelmed and blame yourself when you feel that you don’t measure up to the standards you believe your wife deserves. But don’t blame yourself, you’re doing the best you know how and your best is GREAT. Talk to your wife, tell her how you feel and go from there. I believe you two can come through this stronger than ever. Good luck.