I’m very religious, and I don’t believe in same-sex relationships, although I don’t hate anyone for living that lifestyle. I just don’t agree with the lifestyle, but I would consider myself bisexual. A girl that I really liked asked me to be her girlfriend, and I said yes. But after saying yes, I began to feel so guilty, as if I was betraying God. So, I broke up with her! But now, I feel as if I’ve wasted my only opportunity to find/be loved and I regret my decision so much. But I don’t want to disobey God, I love God so much and I want to obey him.
There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual, gay, heterosexual or transgendered. God made us all different for a reason, so why would it be a problem, in God’s eyes, to be your authentic, organic self, living out your truth every day? I feel that not living one’s truth is a disservice to God because the Creator gives us life and instead of living that life and following our hearts, we choose to listen to society. But you have to understand, society isn’t God and God isn’t society. Who cares if an individual is bisexual? All I care about is whether that individual is happy with herself, her life and her choices. Life is way too short to see and live through the eyes of others.
And I do understand that some people’s religious views disagree with same-sex relationships, and I accept that they have their truth and I have my truth. But the fact that you are bisexual and don’t agree with same-sex relationships brings up a red flag. And I say that because it seems that you’re not accepting all of yourself, thus meaning that you don’t and can’t love all of yourself. Which brings me to my next point of finding love. You said, ‘I feel I just wasted my only opportunity to find/be loved’, and I have to disagree with you there. Love has to come from within before you can truly know and find love outside of yourself. And as of now, with the path you’re on, you won’t find a true love that gives you all that you desire, and that is because you’re not open to love. The fact that you broke up with someone that you could really see a future with because society and religious teachings, shows that you’re not truly accepting of yourself.
And why would God put this person in your path, your ex-girlfriend, if God didn’t want you to form a relationship with her, grow and evolve with her? You being in a same-sex relationship means that you are accepting who you are and your authentic self. It means that you are being loving and showing love towards yourself, all things God desires for you and wants for you to experience. And from my experience, guilt is the fear of being your true self and stepping outside of the box that is placed upon you by society and religious teachings. Feeling guilt just means that you’re on the path to accepting who you truly are and what you want out of life, but also that you’re on the path to saying no to the demands placed upon you by society.
And it’s okay to be confused, but you always have to choose the path that will make you the happiest. You can’t live today for anyone and you have to make sure that your wants, needs, and desires are being met, not anyone else’s! You do have a very tough decision to make, whether to follow your heart and be your authentic self or to follow society and its religious teachings. Ultimately, I want you to be happy and it sounds like you’re not right now. I honestly believe that you should go within and figure out who you are, what you want and how you wish to define your life, and once you do that, I believe you will know which decision is best for you. And I wish you all the happiness in the world as you embark upon this journey of finding out who you really are, outside of the box you’ve been put in by society and religious teachings.
DearSpence 