I’ve recently found myself depending on someone else for my happiness. He’s been the only source for a few weeks, but he’s leaving very soon. I hate that I depend so greatly on other people to be happy because I’m usually the one they depend on. I guess what I’m trying to ask is: how do I find happiness within myself?
That is such a hard question, and I think it’s something that we all struggle with. It’s very hard to find happiness within ourselves because we’re taught that happiness comes from achievements, success and material objects, all things that do enhance our happiness but usually for only fleeting moments.
I truly believe that happiness is a state of mind instead of a feeling. True happiness is being happy no matter where you stand at in life. Happiness is loving yourself no matter what you experience, achieve or have. Happiness is seeing the bright spots in the darkness and seeing the good within yourself.
To find happiness within yourself you have to be secure in where you are in life, secure in who you are right at this moment. You have to forget what society and the world says about happiness, that it comes from money, validation, popularity, and material items. You have to see yourself as a worthy human being. And truly, you have to love all of yourself, even the parts you dislike about yourself.
And you have to know that attaining happiness as a state of being is a process. It won’t happen overnight. You have to reprogram how you view yourself, your world and the world around you. And I believe that you can! Of course, there will be times where you fall back into the trap that happiness comes from material attainment, popularity, and achievement, but you always have to remember that happiness starts from within.
The first thing to do is sit down and really figure out how you see yourself and what you think of yourself. Most likely, it isn’t good! Most people suffer from self-loathing because they’re not accomplishing or achieving what society says they should, so they become very harsh with themselves. You looking to someone else for your happiness is giving your power away but it is also showing you how you feel about yourself.
You looking for happiness outside yourself is you seeking validation from others, from someone outside of yourself, i.e. the world. Thus showing you that you have a low opinion of yourself and your worthiness. You are looking for someone to validate your existence, and that is something you don’t need. Remember, you deserve to take up space and you are a worthy being all on your own. You don’t need someone to validate your existence. You’re God’s creation, and that already makes you a worthy being! God made no mistakes in making you, remember that!
DearSpence 