I’ve just attempted suicide and it didn’t work. I don’t know what to do with my life or body.
I am so sorry that you felt so completely lost that you thought suicide was the answer. And I am happy that you are still here and still walking this Earth with us. My main concern is how are you feeling? What are your thoughts? I know when I was contemplating suicide and didn’t go through it, a sense of self-loathing set in to where I was beating myself up for not going after what I wanted, i.e. the suicide and not being ‘man enough’ to go through with it. Do you feel that way?
Do you feel lost and so unsure, as if you are on shaky ground? I’m so sorry that the world looks so dark to you that you would think about going into the light before it’s your time. And I know it isn’t your time. You are here, walking this Earth for a very specific, spiritual purpose. And although everything seems dark, just know that you aren’t walking in the dark alone. If you’ll let me, I would be more than happy to walk with you!
Now, what do you want to do with your life and body? First off, can you envision your next steps or at least see yourself taking the next steps to rectify what it is that you dislike in your life? If you can, I am so glad! Because that means you are imagining a future, which means you can see tomorrow, which means you are still alive and that you still wish to live. In my experience, people who contemplate suicide or attempt suicide have a love and a zest for life, but they become discouraged whenever they’re thrown obstacles and curveballs and it seems as if nothing gets better.
But it will, I am a great example of life getting better. I was abused by my parents, unemployed, hungry and lacking food, and homeless for a minute. But I am employed full-time, I am in school, I have an excess of abundance that I share with others and I have a beautiful home. Just know and believe in a better tomorrow because I guarantee you, your better tomorrow is coming. When it comes to your next steps, reach out to your loved ones and tell them what you’re going through and how you feel.
If you are able to, reach out to a licensed professional that can help you make sense of everything going on in your world. I am a big supporter of University counseling centers and if you are in college you should definitely check them out, they are free for all students. And once again, don’t give up and just take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute if you have to and just hang in there. And remember, I am walking with you.
DearSpence 