My roommate is making me feel really shitty. Whenever I interact with her, she’s very strict and always seems distant and even mildly irritated with me. However when she is with her other friends she’s nice and engaged and generally warmer to be around. A few months ago I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no, I don’t know why she’s acting this way towards me. It is making me feel absolutely like garbage and so anxious, I feel like I’m not allowed to be around her. She’s one of my best friends and we have lived together for a few years. She doesn’t act this way with our other roommates so why me?
Honey, sometimes it has nothing to do with you. And to say she is and has been your best friend, she seems to be freezing you out. You might have done something, but whatever you’ve done, would it be enough to end a friendship over? I’m proud of you for confronting the situation head on by speaking with her, but it seems as if you’re seeking validation from her. As if you want her to validate your existence, your worth and your right to your apartment.
You asked her if something was wrong and she said no. So, your conscious should be cleaned. You’ve done all you can to figure out, as well as resolve the situation, and instead she just chooses to be pissy. And I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this situation. I know from experience how toxic and negative a living situation can be whenever the person you are living with is negative and is ignoring your existence. But again, don’t seek validation from her.
You were a good, caring friend that was concerned about one of your closest relationships and from an outsiders viewpoint you’ve done all that you could to remedy the situation and now the ball is in her court. With that being said, don’t wait around for her to validate you or the friendship and don’t let her take you out of your character.
And by that, I mean being depressed, sad and angry about the decline of your friendship. Sit with your feelings and work through them, acknowledge what has been done and try to make peace with it and yourself. At this point it’s better for you to move forward without this relationship because it seems as if you’ve the only one who wants the relationship as well as the only one in it. You should think about getting your ducks in a row and consider finding a new apartment and a new roommate if you can. And don’t see this as a negative situation, see it as the Creator, the Universe, freeing up space in your life for people that enhance your happiness instead of detract from it.