My boyfriend has always struggled with depression and anxiety and I have been urging him to seek out professional help for the past couple of years, but he won’t do it. It’s very taxing for me because I have my own issues to deal with as well. My boyfriend depends on me for everything and I just cannot take it anymore, I’m not his parent. He genuinely believes that we will be together forever, and I fear he will do something extreme if I were to leave. I also feel it’s important to mention that I might be a lesbian.
You know it wouldn’t be your fault if you let him and he self-harmed? You’re not in charge of anyone else’s happiness except for your own. And you don’t sound so happy and it seems as if you are staying out of duty, guilt and obligation, an obligation that is not even yours.
If your boyfriend does not want to get help to better his life or his mental health, that’s on him. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. It truly seems as if your boyfriend is stagnant in life and maybe there’s a possibility that you feel as if he’s bringing you down and possibly making you stagnant as well? Stagnation is the kiss of death in any relationship whether the relationship is with 2 people or with yourself.
And you have options, I know you know that you have options, but you don’t want to make the next move because you would feel guilty if your boyfriend was to harm himself. Once again, his happiness cannot rest on your shoulders. And are you truly okay with putting someone else’s happiness above your own? You’re not even living life as your true authentic self. So, will you push your needs to the way side in order to elevate him and his needs? You know what you have to do! If you put his needs first, who will put yours first? You just have to trust in the process and believe that good will and can come from the ending of this relationship. So, go ahead, take those next steps and live a life that you can be proud of.
DearSpence 